My Tribute to Jan Crouch

By Mario Murillo

My father in Christ, Ralph Wilkerson said—back in the day—“we are going to be on a television show.” So, we drove to Fontana CA to a storage facility.  After driving past row after row of roll up storage units we came to one that was strangely outfitted.

A bed sheet was the backdrop.  There was a non-descript light bathing the whole “stage area” which consisted of two folding chairs.  Whenever Paul Crouch did the interview, Jan ran the camera. And, when Jan did the interview, Paul ran the camera…this was the beginning of what is now the largest religious television network in the world.

Watching TBN grow up was something straight out of the book of Acts.  Being allowed to be a big part of it was amazing.  For 30 years I preached on TBN.  For ten years we had our own 30 min show on TBN—donated to us by Paul and Jan Crouch.

We were family.  Like any family…you have differences.  Today…those differences are irrelevant and utterly unimportant.

Jan was larger than life and was never afraid to be herself…that’s for sure! She genuinely loved lost souls.  She really did feel profound compassion for poor children around the world.  She sincerely loved the moving of the Holy Spirit.

Time after time she would be amen corner as I preached.  She would constantly challenge me to “Let the Holy Spirit move!”  This resulted in reports of healing flooding in from all over the world.  She was this way with every spirit-filled preacher who came to TBN.

She withstood a tidal wave of criticism during her years in broadcasting.  She never let it stop her or make her bitter.

You can still hear her voice speaking with such unabashed affection for “our little partners.”  That voice—along with her laugh will be sorely, sorely missed.

She was a pioneer who never apologized to anyone for her uniqueness.  She is in heaven with Jesus—the Jesus who she so deeply loved, served and followed by faith. At last she is with Him!

Here is what really happened at TBN


Dear friend,

I was on the phone for over an hour tonight with my good friend Laura Massey from TBN.  You have to understand that I have 40 years of history with The Trinity Broadcasting Network.  I consider Laura a very close friend who has been a tremendous blessing to me for many years.

She went out of her way to clarify the misunderstanding that led to a movie preempting the broadcast on Thursday night February 13th.   TBN is under contract to broadcast movies in specific timeslots.   Two hours before The Praise the Lord Program was to air because of a contractual obligation TBN was required to air the movie.

This was a simple case of miscommunication that ended up causing many people to contact us to ask why a movie was on and not the program they were promised.

Since we did not know any of this when we were asked by so many about what happened we simply said we did not know.   Some wondered if there was censorship or if I had said something to offend TBN.  I can tell you emphatically that that was not the case.  Nothing more should be read into this incident other than miscommunication.

Thank you for listening and God bless you,

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Raging against the dark night: Lessons I learned after being robbed at LAX.



Raging against the dark night: Lessons I learned after being robbed at LAX.

Okay, for those of you that heard about this on radio in LA. It is true, I was robbed inside of the Los Angeles International Airport.  Somebody came up in a crowded gate area and snatched my briefcase with all my credit cards, laptop computer and cell phone.  I was supposed to go on TBN within a few hours.  I had no way of knowing if I was going to make it on the telecast. 

Sitting in LAX all of those hours some unfamiliar feelings surfaced in me. Frankly, I was traumatized and felt stupid, helpless, and violated.  It felt as if the grace to travel had just lifted off of me.  The thought of boarding another plane became unbearable.  In case any of you were wondering why I seemed a little, shall we say distracted on the program, well now you know.

I assumed I could shake this off when I got home but no. My son was actually able to track my  phone online.  In fact, we had the address of the individual in Gardena who we are pretty sure has my phone and everything else.  However, the police said that they could not go over there.  They wanted me to go over and then call them from the house.  New feelings were surfacing in me beyond the violation, fear of traveling, and stupidity.  Now I felt like I was being humiliated.

God showed me what this attack had started long before I was robbed at LAX.  He showed me that I was chafing under the fresh mandate to buy a tent and win a million young souls. He showed me that I was weary of controversy. Most of all, He showed me that the devil was calling me out.  Just like a schoolyard bully, he was calling me out.  He was telling me to power down and accept new limits on my life.

 Then I was haunted by the an opening stanza by Dylan Thomas, “Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rage at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” His father had been a robust, militant man most of his life, and when in his eighties, he became blind and weak, his son was disturbed seeing his father become “soft” or “gentle.” In this poem, Thomas is rousing his father to continue being the fierce man he had previously been.

 Sitting in prayer it felt as if the younger me had come to visit the current me.  That fiery rebel who took the Gospel to Berkeley must not become an venerated elder statesman…I must remain a fierce man.

This younger me knew why I must continue to speak out and make Satan pay whenever he hits me.  The younger me understands why people are wrong to want a more harmless version of Mario.

 I must march into jets, pulpits, and into the business of those who want to destroy our precious freedoms.  I must, many times more, face the mini death in meetings where I surrender to the signs and wonders of the Holy Spirit.  If you are squeamish about confronting our president and his destructive plans for our nation then this is fair warning…I must rage against the unspeakable dark night of his second term on office.